And it’s driving me crazy. After sleuthing, researching, googling, and crying into my teacup, I figured out a solution that works consistently. I’m documenting it here for my own future use.
1 Set Windows Update to never check for updates.
2 Install IE11 if it’s not already on there. Reboot.
3 Reset Windows Update components. Reboot.
4 Install KB3172605.
5 Install KB3020369. Reboot.
6 Wait 10 minutes, then run Windows Update manually.
7 Update, like, a million times until you’re all patched. Then set Windows Update to download and install automatically.